


the falling is a process

by Trilies



Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: Character Study, Enemies to Friends, M/M, Stuck in a cave, Suicidal Ideation, or like they aren't trying to commit murder so
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-24
Updated: 2020-06-24
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:26:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24894631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trilies/pseuds/Trilies
Summary: Due to reasons, some embarrassing, Gokudera and Chikusa find themselves trapped in a cave. As they stubbornly try to find a way out, Gokudera begins to realize there's more they share in common than he first realized.
Relationships: Gokudera Hayato/Kakimoto Chikusa
Kudos: 6
Collections: KHR Rare Pair Week 2020





	the falling is a process

"Have you considered... that... maybe you're just cursed...?"  
  
Gokudera has met a lot of fucking god-awful annoying people in his lifetime. Even those among his own Family, something he's complained about more than once to the Tenth although he does have to grudgingly admit that everyone has managed to pull their weight for the most part throughout all of the challenges that have been thrown their way. It's just - how the hell is he supposed to be the Tenth's amazing right hand if he's babysitting some stupid cow all the time? And is that meatheaded jock really someone that they can rely on? Don't even get him _started_ on Yamamoto Takeshi... Frankly, in his own family alone, Gokudera is fairly sure he could write dissertations on all their own unique annoyances one by one. Going outside of his Family can sometimes be even worse.   
  
So it's kind of impressive, honestly, that some two-bit pain in the ass like Kakimoto Chikusa gets on his nerves so easily with the least amount of work.   
  
Not that he supposes he really needs to. What else could possibly change on a dull face like that? Making a sharp noise of annoyance under his breath, Gokudera turns his attention back to the path in front of them. "I don't need to hear something like that from a shitty poisoner like you." Once more, he has to wonder just how the hell the two of them got stuck in a situation like this.   
  
Well, he knows, of course. As with most things in life, all of this can really be blamed on Mukuro Rokudo. Not even for anything he did _in particular_. Just for existing. Gokudera had only meant to storm over to Kokuyo Land in order to demand that such a shitty Mist Guardian get his act together, even though the Tenth had followed along helplessly to try and defuse the situation. Yamamoto Takeshi had come along for - the same reason? To laugh at it all? Even now, Gokudera isn't _exactly_ sure there.   
  
...Although, he has to admit reluctantly with a sharp kick sending a rock scattering off into the dark path before them, Kakimoto Chikusa apparently isn't one of those parties. He'd adjusted to the sneak attack almost instantaneously, sending off orders to his partner Joshima Ken while bossing around Chrome to handle Fran. Gokudera thinks they might have even had the same idea to leap off into the wilderness surrounding Kokuyo Land in order to best utilize their ranged attacks, whether that was with hidden bombs or admittedly impressive tricks using a yoyo's string and momentum.   
  
Honestly, that's one of the most annoying things about Kakimoto Chikusa: there's actual _talent_ buried somewhere deep in such unappreciative bullshit and frustrating laziness. Gokudera had recognized it from the outset, before Chikusa had even made a single move towards him. He's clever, he's quick, he's sneaky - all the things which make a perfect assassin. He's even _creative_ , which Gokudera somehow hates the most, and constantly absorbing new ideas.   
  
That had shown as the two of them had been racing through the trees, using their cover to their full advantage. Gokudera is more than familiar with adjusting to new environments, grabbing what he can for victory... For a long time, it was his entire life as a simple for-hire thug or mercenary in the mafia. When he'd separated from his father, both family and Family, he'd had to hop from place to place in order to survive not only in the underworld but also just to fill his own stomach or cover his head.   
  
Kakimoto no doubt is very much similar. Gokudera can't say any exact specifics when it comes to the other teenager's past, sure... but he can guess them well enough. Even if he's just small fry compared to Mukuro Rokudo, he's still a part of the notorious gang that had vexed the mafia underworld and warranted being taken into the Vindici prison. Mukuro isn't the type of person to keep around useless individuals, either... not like this. Kakimoto has likely been all over Italy, and probably some of the neighboring countries, surviving purely on his own since he was younger than even Gokudera was. And Kokuyo Land, where him and the rest of that shitty lot have been staying for a year? It's nothing less than their _home turf_.   
  
So Gokudera, while he hates to admit it, had absolutely had to follow his lead more than a few times as they'd ducked through the underbrush and around trees. While a slow and sleepy person at first glance, Kakimoto is a professional assassin with an unbelievable speed if he ever decides to actually use it. But even more than that... More than once, he'd somehow find the time and place to stop in order to set up traps.   
  
Incredibly familiar traps, in fact, although the exact method had differed. Gokudera can still remember that day he'd come to Kokuyo Land the first time, when it had been to put an end to an assault on the whole town instead of yelling at some asshole illusionist. The only way he'd gotten one up on Kakimoto had been laying traps along the walls of Kokuyo land... just like Kakimoto had set up traps along the trunks of trees, set off with timers or strings to set off downpours of poisoned needles.   
  
Gokudera had tried to mock him for it, of course, as they'd run through the trees. After all, wasn't that his original idea? Yet it hadn't seemed to dig in like he wanted to at all, although good fucking luck reading such an emotionless dog's face. Kakimoto had simply glanced at him, gaze as still and empty as always even with all the action that was going on around them. "Why not steal a good idea if I'm still alive to use it...?"   
  
His shoe meets another rock as he violently kicks it down the path, and Gokudera's mouth screws up just remembering those words. Somehow, hearing praise like that from a bastard like Kakimoto just really pisses him off. It shouldn't, right? Any person with a bit of pride would feel satisfied that they were so powerful, so good, so _intelligent_ that their strategy was copied by another person, right? It's recognition by one's enemy that they did something the other couldn't.   
  
Yet just being reminded of Kakimoto's presence at his back... Gokudera rifles through his pockets again, pulling out a pack of smokes. He knows that the Tenth doesn't like them, and that he's worried what it will do to Gokudera's lungs, and his overall health. Remembering _that_ never fails to make him feel a little bit better, although he feels just as guilty. One day, he swears, he'll be able to use his trademark explosives in a way that won't rely on having something to ignite them immediately smoking away in his mouth... but for now, his cigs are the best thing available, and they soothe his nerves besides.   
  
He's not really thinking about any other effects to this, only his own comfort. He deserves it, right? After ending up in a series of caverns from one misplaced explosion from taking care of those guys, with a bastard that he dislike so much... A quick smoke is the least he deserves. Even a single long inhale makes Gokudera feel better... to the point that he doesn't realize Kakimoto has suddenly appeared around him, and he realizes the gap between his lips before he realizes where his cigarette has gone.   
  
By the time he realizes _that_ , Kakimoto has already tossed it to the ground and dug his shoe against it. While Gokudera is still stunned, Chikusa levels that blank stare of his unto him. With only one source of light in the entire cavernous hallway, it's hard to see it past the glare of light reflecting off of his glasses. "...Such a filthy substance... I don't want anything to do with it."   
  
Hearing Kakimoto's voice snaps him out of it, and Gokudera snarls as he reaches out to try and grab the other by the front of his shirt. Unfortunately, Kakimoto is just as quick as he was up on the surface when they were both dodging attacks from their mutual enemies. Hell, maybe even moreso, considering that he had to be expecting the attack. That only serves to agitate Gokudera more, however, and he bares his teeth while trying to sweep one leg out at Kakimoto's ankles. "You bastard, what the hell was that about!?"  
  
Kakimoto just keeps dodging, even as the phone gets tossed to the side with a clatter and the two of them are left in shadow. What little light still shines from it only serves to make the darkness of the underground all the more oppressive, all the more heavy. Gokudera has to pause for a moment when he realizes that he can't see Kakimoto, eyes needing to adjust, when one of those stupid long legs suddenly whips out and sends him right on his ass. He swears, sharp and in Italian, and glares up at the looming figure there in the darkness who only stands out because of his glasses.   
  
"You... really are one of the most annoying kinds of people..."   
  
Gokudera's eye twitches again, and he hauls himself up onto his feet again warily. He's half expecting Kakimoto to kick him down again; certainly it's what he would do for someone he hates. But Kakimoto doesn't do that. Maybe it would be too much effort. "I could say the same for you," he snaps, fists curling at his sides. "You're nothing more than a shitty weirdo, which is somehow even worse than being the shitty dog you are for Mukuro Rokudo!"

"...And what's the difference between being his dog... or you being Tsunayoshi Sawada's dog?"   
  
The sentence feels like it should be a judgment. It isn't said like one. There is only nothingness in Kakimoto's tone, just like there's nothingness in his expression, and somehow Gokudera feels himself hating that all the more. He wants to grit out an answer, something more than just the many swears he wants to use, but nothing can really spring to mind, not so quickly in the moment. All he can do is turn around and fetch his phone off of the ground. He's lucky that he made sure to fully charge it before coming out to the middle of nowhere. "Shut up and keep moving."   
  
Kakimoto, to his one _fucking_ credit, does just that, and this time the two of them make their way through the tunnels of Kokuyo side by side instead of Kakimoto trailing behind him like a piece of toilet paper stuck to his shoe. Gokudera isn't sure if it's better or worse, honestly. When the other had been behind him, well, that had been tense for a variety of reasons. No one with any sense in their skull would allow an enemy to be at their back unsupervised, and Gokudera likes to think that he's the one person in the entirety of the Tenth's inner circle who has the most common sense out of everyone else... Not that he supposes that's a particularly _high_ bar to clear.   
  
The only reason to be even vaguely relaxed is that Kakimoto Chikusa is not an enemy _right now_. Not when they have just gone against a common foe, and not when Mukuro Rokudo hasn't made any orders (as far as any of them _know_ ) to start up a war against the Tenth or any of the Vongola again. That doesn't mean much, however, not with how mercurial the illusionist is... and how mindlessly his followers obey his ever whim and command, with the exception of those paid to be there, like M.M., or Chrome, who is a unique situation all unto herself.   
  
Yet for some reason, it annoys Gokudera even more to have Kakimoto right there besides him, where the assassin is still somehow just shuffling along with his feet barely lifting off of the ground while simultaneously managing to keep up with Gokudera's pace. He's completely aware of Kakimoto's presence besides him, from the sound of his sneakers on rock to his lanky form right in Gokudera's periphery.   
  
It shouldn't bug him so much. He doesn't _want_ it to bug him so much. And yet with Kakimoto right there besides him, all Gokudera can do is think about the last words he said. About how they were just two dogs, serving their masters.   
  
This isn't the first time he's been insulted in such a manner, of course. They've had plenty of enemies over the last couple of years who've called him similar, or disagreed with the way he's decided to serve the Vongola, the Tenth. Gokudera usually doesn't care about them or, when he does, it's to prove them wrong. Yet with those people... As the two of them continue their walk through the caves, it hits him what's so different between those people, and Kakimoto Chikusa.   
  
With others, the judgment was always laid down with a sense of superiority. His loyalty was a weakness, or stupid, or not enough. There is no such thought residing in Kakimoto's head. Instead... They're on similar playing field. It's - strange, eerie, to realize that one of the people who might best understand him... is _this_ asshole.   
  
Gokudera would gladly be the Tenth's dog, if the Tenth wanted it. Instead, Tsuna tells him all the time that he likes him more as a friend than any guard dog, than any right hand. He wants him not for his intelligence, or his explosives, or even his connection with the Vongola Storm Ring. Instead, all of those are simply excuses in the end to keep him close, and Tsuna is happier when it's the two of them sitting together with the rest of this dysfunctional group to watch the fireworks in summer. Gokudera is... he's happy with that too. It hurts, sometimes, to realize how happy he is about it, that there's a reason to live beyond his loyalty.   
  
Kakimoto would gladly be Mukuro Rokudo's dog, and so he is, in contrast. Gokudera doesn't think he's ever seen the other guy around doing anything _but_ be on business for his leader, whether that's trying to kidnap the next heir for the Vongola Family like their first encounter, or acting as a guard in nearly every single one consecutive to that. Even his participation during the ring battles could be seen in that light, considering Chrome was Mukuro's new vessel, and Gokudera often isn't sure if Kakimoto or Joshima even _like_ the girl sometimes.   
  
That's the life he offered Tsuna, once. He bled for him easily, poisoned needles making his blood run out all the quicker from his pale and pained body. He's nearly died for him, almost unable to stand on his own two feet, the threat of explosions killing him hanging right over his head. Again and again, he'd put his life on the line for the Tenth.... before he'd been ordered to stop it. To value his own life, to look forward to the future, to just exist as he is.   
  
Gokudera feels as though he's on the verge of something, and he sure as hell doesn't like it. Yet he can't stop thinking himself in circles on the connection between him and Kakimoto, not while they're right besides each other. And now he doesn't even have a cig to soothe his nerves.... Gokudera comes to an abrupt stop, and Kakimoto only stops himself because Gokudera is the one carrying the light. Swearing, Gokudera points an accusing finger at him. "I got so distracted by the bullshit spewing out of your mouth that I wasn't able to kick your ass for the actual shit you pulled!"  
  
There's just a slow blink as Kakimoto processes the words he's saying. "...You're still thinking about that?"   
  
If his eyebrow continues to twitch any harder or more in this whole miserable search for a way out, Gokudera is pretty sure it's going to fall completely out of place. That, or he's going to get a permanent twitch because the ability to stop himself will be completely broken from Kakimoto Chikusa's bullshit. "Do you know how expensive cigarettes are?" he grinds out, wondering if it's worth it to try and punch him again. Probably not, unfortunately. That's another way they're alike: both of them are well versed in stupid petty street fights to the point that, if that's all they're using, then neither of them is likely to really gets an advantage on the other.   
  
And, while he's pissed, Gokudera isn't so stupid that he'd bust out his explosives in a confined space, _underground_ , when that's exactly how the two of them ended up in this predicament in the first place.   
  
Kakimoto's yoyos and needles would probably have a better time of it, but he doesn't make a move for any of them although his hands _do_ stay right there in his pockets. Maybe he thinks Gokudera isn't worth it. Maybe he's just lazy. It could be both for all he knows. All he does is give another one of those slow blinks, like he's some sort of lizard. "...I know how expensive they are."   
  
Nevermind, that he knows but did it anyway definitely pisses him off. "I should smash your shitty cheap glasses as payback, if that's what you're going to pull!"   
  
"Smashing my glasses wouldn't get you back your cigarette..." Reaching up, Kakimoto nudges his glasses further up his nose by the very middle, using only one finger. "...Besides, it's not a fight. Why would you need to smoke." Despite the fact that Gokudera knows he's asking questions, the inflection on the words doesn't sound like one at all. What a really bothersome guy.   
  
"I smoke for more reasons than to use my explosives," he grits out, storming off ahead again. A part of him is hoping that he'll leave Kakimoto behind in the dust, but no such luck. He manages to keep up just like he has been for the past few minutes. "Do you think every single person who's ever had a cig in their mouth was using it as a weapon?"  
  
There's a long stretch of silence as he waits for any sort of answer, and he almost thinks he's not going to get one. Right as he thinks that, Kakimoto finally mutters, "It would make more sense that way."   
  
Good lord, hollowed be his fucking name. Gokudera drags his hand down his face, one finger catching at his lower eyelid. "It would _not_ make more sense that way. If anything, it makes a hell of a lot more sense than anything that comes out of your mouth most of the time. It feels good, so people do it!"   
  
"It smells _terrible_ ," Kakimoto replies, something that might actually be an emotion disrupting the steady monotone of his voice. If Gokudera had to make a guess, he'd put it down as _stubbornness_. That shouldn't be an actual emotion, but the Kokuyo shitshows always are bizarre. "That should cancel it out... and all the way the smoke stains things..."   
  
Gokudera can' t help letting out a sharp bark of a laugh at that. "You live in an abandoned entertainment mall, and you're going to complain about the smell and stains of _cigarette smoke_?"  
  
"I have limits..." The annoyed sigh Kakimoto makes is almost the most human he's ever sounded, at least as far as Gokudera has ever heard. "It's so suffocating and annoying... And that's not even talking about how much Ken is going to whine and complain at me just because it would cling to me."   
  
Oh, right. Gokudera perks up a little bit, taking this bit of information to store away in his head for later. It's true that he never really considered how Joshima would factor into all of this... but that makes sense. For someone whose offensive abilities are all based on what animals can do, thanks to his Channels, his other senses must be absolutely ridiculous even when nothing is turned on. Faintly, he wonders if that connection explains Kakimoto's own distaste of the smell, or if it's something entirely unique to the bastard.

Well, either way- "You're just going to have to put up with it," he retorts, although he doesn't pull out his cigarette box again. There's no point in antagonizing Kakimoto any further when they're both tired as it is... and who knows. Bastard might steal the whole box straight out of his hand if he sees Gokudera going for another light. A single cigarette is one thing. Annoying as hell, enough to make his own short fuse go off that would inevitably lead to _other_ fuses going off... But it's still just one thing. If a whole carton of cigarettes gets lost, well, Gokudera isn't sure if he could hold back then.   
  
A cave-in would be the last of his priorities in comparison to trying to shove a whole stick of dynamite down Kakimoto's gullet.   
  
Yet while he doesn't seem interested in starting a physical fight, Kakimoto doesn't seem content to lose this verbal one, and he squints off into the darkness. "I don't have to put up with it right now," he says, still in that slow and low tone of his. "Why do you even need to smoke right now anyway... You were just puffing smoke not that long ago when we were taking care of those pests..."   
  
"You have no idea how much you aggravate other people, do you?" Another rock to kick. Gokudera thinks it might actually be the same one that he's been kicking this entire time. How long have they even been down here? "You're a hated enemy who tried to destroy the Tenth's life, and your shit boss won't even follow the proper procedure for being a Vongola Guardian! Of course I need a smoke to calm my nerves, dealing with people like you!" He snaps his teeth together, feeling the impact reverberate throughout his jaw.   
  
"We're enemies....?"  
  
...He swears to the god damn Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, he's going to snap. The bright side is that he'll never have to live in fear of Bianchi's presence in a kitchen ever again, if he brings this whole damn cavern system on his and Kakimoto's heads. Gokudera hisses in a breath directly inbetween his teeth, and feels himself nearly vibrate out of his skin while Kakimoto impassively watches the whole affair. "You tried to kill us," he says, eyebrow twitching again.   
  
"Mm. I stopped." While Gokudera makes an embarrassing noise of rage that's more akin to a tea kettle in a desperate attempt to hold himself back, Kakimoto just lazily yawns into one hand. "Mukuro-sama said there wasn't a need right now, so you're not really anything important currently... Which is good, because you're all bothersome.... Although..." And then he trails off, just a lanky asshole wandering in the dark.   
  
Gokudera pinches the bridge of his nose, gently massaging it. The need for a smoke is only growing more and more with every passing second with this guy. "Although what?" he asks impatiently, thankful that they're still actively on the move or else he'd be tapping his foot impatiently.   
  
"...Although Mukuro-sama doesn't feel a need for us to start an all out war with your Vongola again... I wouldn't mind killing you."   
  
_Well_. Just like that, sticking a cigarette inbetween his lips is the last thing on Gokudera's mind, and his gaze sharpens towards Kakimoto. In contrast to not that long ago, he's suddenly quite grateful that the other is walking alongside him instead of directly behind. Kakimoto is an assassin; he'd definitely take advantage of a position like that. "Oh yeah? Gotta grudge of some kind?" For the first time since they've been stuck with one another, he grins, all of his teeth bared. "Pissy that I kept getting one over you when we first fought?"   
  
Just like this is the first time that Gokudera is daring to grin, this is also the first time he sees Kakimoto's expression actually change. It's not much... but in contrast to _nothing_ , it's _everything_ , the way his eyes narrow just enough to be slivers of barely existent color. That's a bulls eye, Gokudera just knows it. "...Fighting you... really covered me in sweat and other disgusting things. That was a real bother..." His head tilts to the side, just enough to make it clear he's using his stupid amount of height to literally look down on Gokudera. "Not to mention... you didn't have the good sense to just lay down and die."   
  
He shouldn't be glad about this. He shouldn't be anything _approaching_ happy. And yet Gokudera can't help it, can't wipe the sharp grin off his face. Frankly, he wouldn't even want to. The entire time they've been stuck together, it's just been him, raging at Kakimoto in a way that was about as useful as raging into the shadowy void of the path ahead of them. To say it's been frustrating... is understating it, to say the least. But now he's dragged the bastard right down with him again. Now it's not just him, practically alone in a tunnel, walking for who the hell knows how long.   
  
"Sounds like you're the one with no good sense," he says, stepping right into Kakimoto's space. It's not really to try and start another fight; Gokudera knows there's no point in that right now. But some habits die hard, and basic posturing intimidation bullshit is one of them. "Who'd just lay down and die, asshole? After all, you sure haven't, for as long as I've had the unpleasant experience of knowing your shitty four eyed ass."   
  
Kakimoto doesn't shy away from his aggressive gaze. "Mukuro-sama doesn't want me to yet," is all he says.   
  
That... wasn't what he was expecting, and Gokudera pauses, trying to figure out what the hell he _was_ expecting. Maybe more trash talk and bullshit, that sounds about right. After all, they both hate each other. Neither of them wants to be in this situation with the other. They're both on edge, and both liable to kick each other's asses at the slightest excuse- although Gokudera has to admit that he's more likely to start it, probably, than Kakimoto.   
  
But that's not... really trash talk. It might be bullshit, but not in the way Gokudera was thinking, where it's just bullshit for a fight, not... whatever that sentence just was. He falls silent, expression warring between a glare and bewilderment. Apparently, that's not what Kakimoto was expecting either, because he blinks at Gokudera for a second with the clear expectation that he'll keep on going. When he doesn't, Kakimoto's mouth twitches, almost something like a frown, before he turns his head to look towards the tunnel they're walking down once again.   
  
Frankly it's probably for the better that both of them shut up for a good minute here, something Gokudera knows he can rely on a lazy bastard like Chikusa with, because he suddenly really needs to think about one simple sentence that has nonetheless struck down to something in the core of him. With their arguing, he thought he'd found a replacement for his cigs, but now he just wants one all the more as he almost literally chews on the issue that's just been brought up.   
  
It... takes a while, honestly, for him to narrow in on just what's bugging him about that one sentence from Kakimoto. Or maybe the only reason it takes a while is because he doesn't really _want_ to think about it, because the path to understanding seems to lead inwards. Lead somewhere he prefers not to think about, somewhere that's far too delicate and sensitive for careless handling.   
  
Kakimoto... was right, when he said they were both dogs to their respective bosses. Once upon a time, Gokudera knows he would have been fine with that. It's different for him nowadays, of course. He has a whole life to live for, even if it would be so painfully incomplete without Tsuna in it. That's why he "was" a dog. Yet for a guy like Kakimoto, there's no past tense whatsoever. But that shouldn't be any of his business, should it? If the four eyed bastard wants to live his life like that, then that's his decision.   
  
Except Gokudera can't just let it go like he so desperately wants to. Whenever he tries, every single time he thinks to himself that it's none of his business, his mind just echoes memories back at him of his life before the Tenth. Before Tsuna. He thinks of how tense and miserable he was, trying to make a living for himself while unable to trust his own family. He thinks of how much his heart ached, in all the best ways, when Tsuna had opened his hand to him and told him how important he was as a friend more than a right hand man.   
  
It's what's given him a reason to keep growing out of the self contained box he'd made for himself, the one that was always going to keep him limited from exploring new things, new weapons, new ideas, new interests.   
  
In the entirety of huge assholes he's had to face down alongside Tsuna ever since he first pledged himself to the Vongola heir, Gokudera would have to say that Mukuro Rokudo is definitely his boss's exact opposite in terms of... everything. While it makes him went to wretch and crumple up his face just thinking about it, if he tries to imagine being in Kakimoto's shoes... There's no way he would have ever felt those same feelings, right? Hell, he doesn't even think he's ever heard Mukuro Rokudo say one positive thing about any of his shitty lackeys, except for maybe some sweet nothings to Chrome. And Chrome is... in a different league of her own when it comes to those who have relations with Mukuro, honestly. Even Gokudera can tell that.   
  
What about the people who've been there from the start? The people who've willingly shed their blood to that trident of his? The ones who've pushed their body to its utmost limits until they were nothing but broken bones and leaking blood?   
  
If it had been Kakimoto fighting against Bel, those years ago, and it had been Mukuro waiting for him, would the latter have told him to come back or would he have simply encouraged Kakimoto's own tried and true lack of care for himself? Gokudera thinks of the first battle they had, right there in broad daylight, and how Kakimoto had been covered in burn marks and his own blood, but still standing, still trying to pursue his boss's objective. He thinks of what Tsuna told them about the fight when they all were recovering in the hospital, how he'd struggled to accept Mukuro's cavalier approach to using his subordinate's bodies even when they were literally breaking.

A proper mafioso shouldn't give a shit about their enemies. Some would even say that one shouldn't give a shit about anyone outside of their Family, just because of the very nature of the mafia. And yet Gokudera realizes that he can't help but give... _something_ about the state of Kakimoto Chikusa. It's the very same rut he used to be in, until his life was on the line and there was a voice yelling in his ear about all the things he would miss.   
  
There's something bugging him, a small little mosquito of a sentence taking potshots at him, and he finally hisses in a breath as he looks back to Kakimoto. "Hey, you." He knows he's been heard when Kakimoto's head tilts towards him, just the bare minimum which is so little that Gokudera almost doesn't notice it in the darkness even with the light of his cell phone. Dammit. What an annoying guy, no matter any kind of connection. Gokudera grinds his teeth but doesn't lose his temper. "What did you mean before?"  
  
"...You're going to have to be more clear than that..."   
  
Gokudera feels his eyebrow twitch, even as much as he knows it's... probably a legitimate question. They've talked and cursed each other out plenty in the time they've spent together, with Gokudera doing most of the swearing. There's a _lot_ he could theoretically be referring to. Taking a deep breath to force calm into himself, hard as that seems to be, he keeps going. "When you said I was cursed. Were you just referring to our general shitty situation, or something else?"   
  
"Well... The situation alone would probably be enough..." Kakimoto trails off, gaze drifting back towards the darkness that seems to eternally stretch out before them. Gokudera almost thinks that he'll leave things at that, which... would, honestly, be very much in-character for the lazy bastard. Yet he stubbornly reminds himself that patience is a virtue for a reason, even if virtue is one of the last things that one would attribute to a mafioso. He's rewarded, eventually, when Kakimoto lets out a long breath. "Even in a situation like this... and when we fought those two times... you keep struggling. Even though a thug like you isn't wanted by his own family.... and you've just been thrashing about in the underworld for years..."   
  
"I was too stubborn to just go down like that," Gokudera scoffs, even as his mind is working on overdrive to analyze those words. He'd never say he's exactly a people person, a social butterfly. Yamamoto has a lot more talent in that area, or at least he's a lot better at faking it. Tsuna really shines with people. But him? He prefers chemicals and books to people. Now, however, he's really _listening_ to Kakimoto's words... trying to figure out whatever meaning is within them.   
  
Because this is one asshole who sure doesn't make it easy, Gokudera has to say. Most people, Gokudera included, show at least some part of themselves in a situation like this, but Kakimoto, just like always, is nearly a blank slate now that Gokudera has stopped trying to start a fight. So if he won't show himself in his face... then, for a lazy guy like this who would hate to waste even the energy it takes to form words, then surely his words are the key to figuring this guy out.   
  
And those words... "Sounds like you're talking about yourself more than _me_ ," he says out loud, wondering what effect that will have, if he's even on the right mark. Maybe he's just full of bullshit, like usual. After all, the only things he knows about Kakimoto, or any of the Kokuyo bastards, is knowledge he's gained secondhand and things he can extrapolate based off of that same knowledge.   
  
But Kakimoto's eyes narrow, lips thinning just a hair, and he knows now that Kakimoto is almost exactly the same as him. There are things that are different, things that set them apart and which could never be truly recreated in another human being, yeah... Gokudera's own existence, a teenage mixed blood prodigy whose Family couldn't be trusted, that's not something that happens every other day. If the world has even a single grain of goodness in it, whether a person or a group or whatever, then there should never be another disaster like the Estraneo Family, sacrificing who knows how many kids in the selfish pursuit of power.   
  
Yet in the heart of them... They're the same people who, at one point, couldn't find a reason that their own life was valuable. Who couldn't see why being alive meant anything meaningful at all.   
  
Kakimoto doesn't say anything, just glares at him quietly, and Gokudera figures this time around that he won't let him have all the time in the world to decide on what he wants to say. Instead, he takes that time for himself, and keeps talking. "You know, there's something I've always been wondering. Mukuro Rokudo has that eye of his, along with his other base illusions." Frankly, it's such an overpowered piece of nonsense that Gokudera is kind of offended by it just by it existing, let alone existing in Mukuro's eye socket... but that's a gripe for another time. "Then your partner, Joshima Ken, has his Channels which can give him all sorts of things. But I've never seen anything from you."  
  
No answer for another few minutes, once again. Kakimoto just stares at him for what feels like forever, even as the two of them continue their miserable march through the caves. They're all far longer and larger than Gokudera would have assumed possible for this place... But then again, that might just be a trick against his own perception. With the darkness never-ending, his light just a mere speck that fails to make any true efforts against the shadows, and someone like Kakimoto besides him...   
  
"...You should know."   
  
The answer almost makes Gokudera jump, although he manages to hold himself back. After being so quiet for so long, he really hadn't thought Kakimoto would answer him... So he'd been perfectly prepared to forcefully keep the conversation going himself by offering up an answer, after he finished getting lost in his own thoughts. Still... Gokudera lets out a rough snort. "That's barely even an answer," he snaps. "If you were stuck with someone else who wasn't as much of a genius as me-"   
  
"If I'd been stuck with someone else... Then I probably wouldn't have fallen into this hole with you in the first place..."  
  
At the rate his eyebrow is twitching, the energy produced by such frenetic movement would be enough to power the whole of Japan. Of this, Gokudera is pretty damn sure. Gritting his teeth, he continues on as if he hadn't been interrupted in the first place. He can't afford to get sidetracked now, after all. " _If you were stuck with someone else who wasn't as much of a genius as me_ , they wouldn't be able to tell what you meant at all. I can guarantee it."   
  
Kakimoto Chikusa is obviously a difficult pain in the ass to deal with, after all. Someone like Ryohei would have just been a complete idiot- actually, that musclehead wouldn't have even gotten this far in a conversation to begin with. He's the type of person whose words need to be examined from every angle, and his entire past thought of in great depth. It's exactly because of that...  
  
"But, yeah, I _can_ figure it out, since it's me. As the right hand of the Tenth Vongola Don, isn't that much expected of me?" He jerks his chin up at Kakimoto. "Figuring out that none of the experiments in you ever actually stuck."   
  
In that.... Well. Gokudera will never know what it's like to be a child experiment who fails at even _that_. And yet it still seems to explain a whole lot about Kakimoto Chikusa. His preferences towards poisons and assassinations instead of outright fights, the clever tricks he pulls like those personally made yoyos of his or how he takes in tactics such as Gokudera's traps, how Gokudera is pretty sure they're basically even on the amount of outright battles they've both actually won or lost...   
  
There's nothing flashy about Kakimoto Chikusa. That's because only _winners_ can afford to be flashy. Mukuro Rokudo is a prime example of that. He knows he can stand out, take a fight head on, all because he's someone who has the utmost confidence in his skills. Joshima Ken hasn't nearly had the opportunities to shine compared to other people Gokuder knows, like Yamamoto, but there's still no denying his excellent combat ability. It's just the intelligence and personality that's bad.   
  
Kakimoto Chikusa is quiet, although Gokudera has no idea if it's the personality that influences his style or his style that influences his personality. He's outright admitted to Gokudera, with his own lips, that the only reason he goes for all out fights is because Mukuro orders him to. He started a fight in broad daylight because Mukuro told him to. He confronted Gokudera in Kokuyo Land while letting the Tenth get away because Mukuro told him to.   
  
Yet that sort of thing doesn't seem to fit what the Estraneo were trying to do at all, being subtle and quiet. Their experiments, even from what little Gokudera knows of them, were outrageous and revolting in equal measure. Even their special possession bullet involved being shot straight in the head... or maybe he just thinks of it as flashy because of the way Mukuro first demonstrated it to him and the Tenth. The horrific way Joshima's body warps whenever he changes Channels, or how the very nature of illusions meaning reality gets turned inside out... So where the hell does Kakimoto fit into all of this?   
  
The answer is simple, of course. He doesn't.   
  
So how do you catch up to all of that? How do you stay by the side of someone so out of this world?   
  
Gokudera doesn't get being a failed child experiment, and he never will... but he can remember struggling again and again, furious at the lack of understanding he got from Shamal's tutelage, intimidated at least a little from having to go up against one of the Varia who was even styled as a genius, and knowing how incredible Tsuna is... Knowing that a boss's reputation, a boss's strength, was at least a little reliant on how tall his companions could stand... He can understand how it feels to be frantically trying to work harder and harder just in order to stay where he was.

For him, it had to do with aggressively being by Tsuna's side as much as he could and constantly work on mastering new abilities beyond just his explosives, whether that was learning how to drive a motorcycle or how to fire off an arrow from a bow. Surely Kakimoto has been very much to same... learning his poisons, learning how to hide in the shadows. If anything, Gokudera is starting to wonder if maybe the teenage assassin has actually had it _worse_.   
  
Gokudera's insecurities were always from the voices in his own head, a nonstop internal monologue that demanded he be the best or else he would be worth absolutely nothing. In contrast, Mukuro Rokudo has said outright how he doesn't need useless people.   
  
With his mind running a mile a minute, it takes Gokudera a second to realize that they've been walking in silence for a few minutes now, and that Kakimoto hasn't looked away from him even a little bit. A normal person would have tripped over their own feet by now, or some stray stone or crack in the ground, but, well, Gokudera always knew that Kakimoto wasn't a normal person. Most people who are so heavily involved in the underworld, no matter if they're in a proper Family or not, usually tend to be. No one is a better example of that than Byakuran Gesso, after all.   
  
Gokudera feels himself twitching again. "What?" he says, losing some of the cool he'd managed to dredge up with his last words.   
  
Another one of those slow blinks. Gokudera has no idea how someone as slow and who sometimes seems so absent minded can do anything but lay on the floor for the rest of their life. "...That's not entirely wrong," Kakimoto finally says after a moment, although that means Gokudera isn't entirely _right_ either. He can't accept a half-assed victory like that. While Gokudera tries to stop himself from stewing in the emotion, Kakimoto tilts his head slowly to the side. "Why do you care?"  
  
"If you're going to project your bullshit onto me, then I might as well make it my business," Gokudera says, bristling. "Besides, why shouldn't someone care about someone who is as much of a mess as you are?"   
  
"Why _would_ anyone care...?"  
  
And that's the thing, isn't it? Gokudera grinds his teeth together, because he _gets that_. When he was just one more shitty kid on the streets of Italy, he thought that all the time. Outside of his Family-mixed-family, he figured no one would care about just another corpse, besides maybe some fleeting sadness at the sight of someone not even a teenager dying and in what would no doubt be a miserable way. And, hell, even then, he had an understanding that his life only had value as a talented piano genius of a heir.   
  
Kakimoto has never even had _that_ much. It's just been him, and two other assholes.   
  
"It's not like anyone has a reason _not_ to care," he shoots back.   
  
Kakimoto doesn't even blink before he responds. "And no one has a reason _to_ care. I... really don't know why you're caught up on this out of the blue..." His eyes narrow again, but this time it's not in a glare. Now, it's more like someone who's trying to carefully examine a strange thing they've found, whatever weird trash has stuck to the bottom of their shoe or a hidden easter egg in a picture. He examines Gokudera like he's an alien lifeform. "...Didn't you want to kick my ass just a few minutes ago...?"  
  
Was it only a few minutes ago? Time doesn't seem real in the literal underground. Gokudera ignores that minor detail, and just huffs at the nothingness that's stretched out before them. "Yeah, well, I changed my mind. Got a problem with it?"  
  
"...It's troublesome..."   
  
"You think everything is troublesome," Gokudera snorts. "That doesn't mean anything. You even think living is troublesome."   
  
"That's because it is..."

Even having a solid idea of where Kakimoto is coming from, being familiar with those aimless and hopeless feelings, Gokudera still doesn't particularly like hearing those words actually leave his mouth. But it's none of his business, is it? He should just... leave it to those three Kokuyo bastards, along with Chrome, and focus on his own Family. What's even the point? While he would sooner bite off his own tongue before admit to it, Kakimoto did have a point when he asked why anyone should care about his own issues. In the underworld especially, it's every person out for themselves... and even those who live as regular 'civilians' are caught up in their own lives. Gokudera hadn't realized that anyone _could_ care outside their own lives until he met the Tenth's mother, even.   
  
Yet for some reason... He just _can't let it go_ when it comes to this guy. So, feeling his metaphorical heels dig in, he tries to think up a good counter to the stagnant life that is Kakimoto Chikusa. "What would you do if that pain in the ass wasn't around, anyway?" he asks, trying to hammer out this puzzle.   
  
"I mean... which one?"   
  
A snort of laughter bursts out of Gokudera before he can stop himself, and he hastily looks to the side while swiping at his nose with the back of his hand once he realizes what he's just done. Whatever his weird lapse in judgment that has lead him to getting interested in Kakimoto's fucked up life, this is still his _enemy_ , right?   
  
But he has to admit... He wasn't expecting _that_ kind of statement from the bastard. Kakimoto Chikusa seems like the ultimate dog to his master, with nothing but single minded devotion topped with never-ending praise for the person he's given his whole body and life to. But... maybe there's something to the guy, if he's able to refer to his own boss as a pain in the ass, even as he's constantly letting himself be possessed other times.   
  
When he's fairly certain that he has himself under control again, Gokudera glances back at Kakimoto. "I meant the one you generally follow around and listen to as a boss. You know that's who I meant."   
  
"You can never tell..." Kakimoto raises up one shoulder, but only barely, such a small movement that it is easy to miss if Gokudera weren't paying so much attention to him. It takes another moment for him to give any sort of answer. "I guess... there wouldn't be much reason for me to exist, would there? Besides... taking care of Ken. But I don't know what he would do... besides something reckless and stupid."   
  
Boy, doesn't that sound familiar... the reaction if nothing else. Gokudera can think of more than a few people who would do something stupid and reckless if their boss ended up dead, or in some sort of equally terrible bind. (He refuses to acknowledge that _he'd_ do something stupid and reckless himself, even if he knows at the core of him that it's true.) Still, he has to ask, "What, you wouldn't want to do anything for yourself?" He raises an eyebrow. "Not even revenge?"   
  
Kakimoto cocks his head to the side. Or, well. To say he 'cocks' it would give it a kind of speed or sharpness that Kakimoto Chikusa doesn't seem to possess in a single bit of him. It's more like a long, lazy, slow tilt. "The revenge would be a given... Although it's something else entirely if I could manage to get it for myself. But even if I could somehow succeed against someone that took Master Mukuro out... What would be the point to anything afterwards?"   
  
Well... In that, Gokudera can't say he would really fair any better, although he rationally knows that it's definitely a possible risk for all of them in the mafia. In fact, he knows better than almost everyone else in the world, because he _has_ visited a future where almost exactly that has happened. His reaction back then was.... Ugh. Just thinking about it has him admit that he might not do any better in this timeline. What had that future self of his done? Apparently kept fighting the good fight, of course, because he too had other people he'd wanted to protect, like Yamamoto, or Lambo, or even Bianchi. In a world where he didn't have such a large scale war to throw all his attention towards...   
  
Ugh. Fuck. He doesn't have a good argument here, either. Gokudera pulls out of the conversation, rubbing his chin as he thinks. There has to be another approach to this conversation he can take... and it hits him, after a little bit, because Mukuro has already done something that wasn't _outright dying_ , as much as Gokudera is sure more than a few people outside Kakimoto Chikusa and Joshima Ken would appreciate. "What if he let you go?"   
  
Kakimoto's gaze has never been particularly _lively_. At best, as far as Gokudera has ever seen, he just gets disturbingly... focused. He did that during their first battle, when he'd disappeared from the smoke of explosives and showed up on the other side of them, focused purely on Tsuna and nothing else. But he looks particularly blank _now_ at Gokudera's question, as though he's spoken not only a foreign language, but a completely alien one, not found on this earth. "Let me go?" he echoes, as though the words don't fit in his mouth or belong on his tongue.   
  
_Huh_. Gokudera raises an eyebrow. "Yeah, let you go. You remember when he kicked Dokuro out, right? Sink-or-swim sort of situation where she had to rely on her own illusions? What if one day he made you do something like that? What would you do?"   
  
Inch by inch, Kakimoto's shoulders begin to hunch up further, and the guy's never had particularly great posture to _start_ with. He starts to eye Gokudera from the side, as though he might get bitten or something. "...That wouldn't happen. Why are you asking."   
  
"I'm bored as hell," Gokudera retorts, "and you're the only bastard around for me to interact with. Besides, I want to see if there's more to you than just some boring lackey with no mind of his own. So c'mon. What would you do? Do you even have _hobbies_?"  
  
Because it's honestly strange to think of Kakimoto as... having hobbies. Of having things he likes or prefers over something else. He really does seem like just another blank slate nobody who does whatever Mukuro wants, with no thoughts or desires of his own. And that sort of thing, Gokudera is finding, really grates on him. Anyone else he's fought against, whether on his own or with the Vongola, he could at least imagine them living a life of their own even outside of the mafia or their devotion to a particular person. Yet with Kakimoto.... What is there? What is actually _there_ , in this blank eyed teenager with seemingly more height than he has consideration for other people, and more loyalty than height?

The silence stretches on between them, somehow seeming to echo all on its own in some bizarre way. Gokudera has no idea how to even fill it. A part of him wants to do what he always does, which is yell a little, curse a little, be aggressive in a way that was perfectly acceptable in Italy and yet seems to be far more rare when it comes to Japan. Yet that also doesn't seem _right_ , in a way that has nothing to do with cultural expectations. Rather, it doesn't feel like it would fit this... whatever the hell he's trying to accomplish between the two of them right here, right now. What _is_ he trying to accomplish right now?   
  
Before he can dive too deeply finding the answer to that question, sounds finally take up space instead of the silence. "EDM."  
  
It makes _so little sense_ , at least to what Gokudera knows, that his brain actually needs a moment to process what he's just heard, and realize that it was Kakimoto speaking up. "What?" he asks, blinking over at the other guy in a way that he suspects is somehow aggressive. No, he doesn't know what it means to _blink aggressively_ either.   
  
Kakimoto just blinks back. If Gokudera can somehow blink aggressively, then Kakimoto can blink apathetically. "...EDM. Electronic dance music. You know... things like dubstep...? And other types of music that use electronic instruments. I like those kinds of thing... especially the ones that don't use too many vocals."   
  
"Huh," Gokudera says blankly, his brain trying to remember the last time he ever heard that kind of music. He feels like he has to have. Sure, it's not as popular on the radio (that he's listened to) compared to pop or rock, but there has to be some time he's heard it, right? Maybe on the television. A thing for an anime? That's the only thing he can think of. Still, if he's going to say that... " _Why_?"  
  
He thinks he's getting better at telling apart the minute differences in Kakimoto's expressions. The one on his face now gives it a way that he's never been asked that question by anyone in his _life_. Well, that makes a depressing amount of sense, Gokudera guesses. Joshima doesn't seem like a particularly great conversationalist if you have more than two brain cells to rub together, and he's probably just as much of a shitshow as Kakimoto is. Then there's Mukuro, and, well, that speaks for itself.   
  
Frankly, Gokudera is expecting another bout of silence for him to fight through, but Kakimoto... actually speaks up before that's necessary, although he does so while giving Gokudera a side eye like someone expecting to get bitten. "What do you listen to...?"  
  
This... might actually be the first time he thinks Kakimoto has ever shown an interest in him as a person, instead of just another pain in the ass to deal with because he's following Mukuro. Maybe it's the scientific nerd in him, the person who is constantly figuring out his entire syllabus for the school year or how to handmake his own explosives, but... he can't help but want to poke more into this sudden change.   
  
So he actually takes a second to think on the answer, hands shoved into his pockets. "Rock, probably," he answers simply, because it's true. "I mean, lots of rock is always good, but especially, you know-" He begins to gesture around with his free hand, light reflecting eerily off of the many rings (plain or skull adorned) that are on his hand. "Hard rock. Metal. You have to have listened to that before, right?" It seems like something that should be obvious, but Gokudera genuinely can't tell. Kakimoto's experiences are so far outside the normal human ones, including Gokudera's own which weren't that normal to begin with, that he has no idea what "normal" means to the guy.   
  
Fortunately, he manages to get an answer here, even if it's initially in the form of Kakimoto's mouth twitching at the corner. Did Gokudera always notice tiny little details like that in him before? "Oh... That stuff. I've heard some mafia play it... but it's so loud and grating..."   
  
"That's because you just don't appreciate it," Gokudera scoffs. "But then again, considering how pure lethargy is what flows through your veins instead of blood..."   
  
Somehow, that starts up a whole... _thing_ , some huge conversation between the two of them on musical tastes and genres. Gokudera almost doesn't realize he's slipped into it, honestly. It just feels so surreal, with the oppressive darkness wiping away all sense of time or progress even as he logically understands that they're passing by different bits of cave, or a particularly noteworthy mark in a wall or from the ceiling. There's only the light from his phone, and their voices, bouncing off the rock walls.   
  
Yet despite all of that, the suffocating darkness and the inability to tell time and the path stretched out before them forever, Gokudera still somehow feels... better, listening to Kakimoto try to explain why he likes the repetitive rhythm of EDM so much, and the different variants of the genre, and even why he finds rock music to be so annoying. So lost in it all, he nearly forgets what they're even walking _for_ until Kakimoto abruptly stops with his head tilted to the side.   
  
Gokudera raises an eyebrow, even as his free hand goes tense and starts searching for any of his explosives again. "What?"  
  
"....Just feel."   
  
It's a simple order, a simple direction, but Gokudera listens to it well enough. Maybe at the start of all of this, he would have complained, but there's no reason to now that he's calmed down. And, well, maybe there's more to it than just having had a chance to calm down. Either way, Gokudera closes his eyes and just... feels. Because once he does that, it's really obvious as to why Kakimoto told him to do it. This entire time, the air has just been completely stagnant, changed only because of their movement through it as they've walked. Now, however? Now, he can feel the air moving _against_ him, the giveaway sensation of a breeze. And a _breeze_ means that something is connected to the outside.   
  
Fucking _finally_.   
  
Reaching over, Gokudera grabs Kakimoto by his shirt and hauls him forward, because God knows the bastard isn't going to move forward this fast of his own free will. "Come on! We've been stuck in this shitty cave for far too long, the Tenth needs me!"   
  
"Ugh." Somehow, Kakimoto manages to keep up with Gokudera's dragging, although it seems that he only _barely_ puts the necessary effort into not being literally dragged right along the ground. "You know... we're going to look like assholes if it turns out only to be a small hole that neither of us can fit through..."   
  
"Then I'll just blow it up and make it bigger," Gokudera retorts.   
  
"Ugh.... We're going to die down here..."

As it turns out, they're _not_ dying down there. The breeze leads to light which leads to a fairly decent sized cave opening more than big enough for a pair of teenagers to walk through, even a teenager as stupidly gangly and tall as Kakimoto. Gokudera has to blink more than a couple of times, adjusting to the presence of sunlight again. He's not _entirely_ sure where the two of them are, in regards to Kokuyo Land or the highway that ventured near it, but surely they can't be _that_ far. A quick check of his phone says that it even has battery left. Or, well. At least _some_ battery.   
  
"Fuck, I'm going to hit below twenty percent soon," he mutters, fingers quickly flicking along the numbers. "I have to call the Tenth so that he knows I'm alright." Now that he's outside, he might even get cell service, which was something he hadn't even bothered to check while they were stuck underground. He'd already known what the answer would be, after all.   
  
He's not expecting a light pressure against his shoulder and back as he fiddles with his phone, and he blinks, glancing back and up at Kakimoto. The assassin just blinks down at him, nonplussed. For a second, Gokudera thinks he must be trying to figure out the Tenth's phone number... But then Kakimoto just murmurs, "Call Dokuro if you can't get his line..."   
  
Gokudera quirks up an eyebrow. "Why Dokuro?"   
  
"She's... the only other person with a steady cell phone. And it manages to work the best for out here in the middle of nowhere... So if you can't get him... You'll definitely get her."   
  
"Maybe you should all think about living somewhere else that _isn't_ in the middle of nowhere," Gokudera says, rolling his eyes again even as he raises his phone up to his ear. "Why don't you get your _own_ phone?"   
  
"Mukuro-sama is too cheap. And Ken would probably lose his.... Fran can't be trusted not to steal our credit card and spend everything on gacha games... And M.M. blocks us whenever we try to get a hold of her."   
  
"Shitshows," Gokudera snorts while he patiently waits for the phone to stop ringing in his ear. "What about you? I thought you were the _responsible_ one." This is mostly just a bullshit guess, considering Kakimoto's overall personality and the fact that Mukuro seems to fuck off fairly often. And, what, are they going to have _Joshima_ look after that whole disaster group? No. No one would. Not even a bunch of dumb assholes like the Kokuyo bastards.   
  
"Fran would still steal it," Kakimoto sighs, still hovering over his shoulder. "So. Anything?"   
  
Gokudera gives it a couple more seconds before he pulls the phone away with an annoyed click of his tongue. "No, nothing. Alright, fucking fine. What's Dokuro's cell phone number?"   
  
While he hates to give a victory over to him, Kakimoto was right. Dokuro absolutely answers her cell, with that same kind of unassuming politeness that always seems to trip people up in comparison to the illusionary horrors she's capable of. She doesn't even ask that much, funnily enough, just gets confirmation that him and Kakimoto are alive and tells him in turn that all their enemies have been properly dispatched of. Well, that part isn't exactly surprising. Even if their enemies had been smart this time around, they'd still been up against Mukuro Rokudo and the absolute incredible and wondrous Tenth Vongola boss.   
  
Some agreements are made for them to meet up on the highway again, and Kakimoto actually seems to have some decent wilderness survival skills as he points them in what's... probably the right direction. Gokudera isn't really skilled enough to tell one way or the other. All he can do is trust that some feral bastard like Kakimoto, who's been living out here for ages now, knows what he's talking about. So the two of them head off, shoving aside bushes and low hanging branches.   
  
Gokudera... almost feels like he should say something again. Pick up the conversation they were having where they left it off at. Yet somehow things feel... different, now that they're above ground once more. Down in the caves, things had felt isolated, secret, even though Gokudera had known that he was still the right hand man, Gokudera Hayato, of the Vongola tenth generation. It had felt like somewhere he _could_ poke and prod at Kakimoto at, no matter if they were enemies. It's a hard thing for him to describe.   
  
In the sunlight and fresh air, things feel _real_ again. It feels like anything he says to Kakimoto or anything that's said to _him_ will somehow change things permanently and completely, although that doesn't make any bit of fucking sense. After all, their words and interactions were real down in the caves, weren't they? That's how reality _works_. And yet somehow it feels awkward to bring it up to Kakimoto when there's the sound of bird song in the air, and the buzzing of insects.   
  
Gokudera keeps arguing with himself on what he should do, and how little sense his own brain is making, all the way up until Kakimoto makes some sort of faint noise. "There," he murmurs, but Gokudera doesn't look to where he is for a second, doesn't look to see the sight of the road just barely visible through the trees and brush.   
  
Instead, he's looking at Chikusa. Looking at the way his pale skin is actually flush with activity from constant walking and the warmth of the sun. How his eyes aren't just blank black pits hidden behind the shine of glasses anymore, but a soft pale purple that quickly takes in everything. How, surrounded by nature and energy, he looks too like something _living_ instead of just one of Mukuro Rokudo's dogs.   
  
Gokudera can't help but wonder if he, too, looks any different to Kakimoto's eyes.   
  
"Hey, 500 yen says that I can find you hard rock that you would like," he finds himself saying, almost like it's not his voice at all. Like he's not even making a conscious decision on it. But somehow, with the things they've talked about, and the way Chikusa looks so _human_ right now in this moment... He can't help but want to see the guy again.   
  
Maybe it's like looking back in time, and seeing another child exactly like he used to be. Who knows. Gokudera tells himself not to think too hard on it, at least not right now.   
  
Chikusa just blinks, apparently even more surprised than Gokudera to hear that particular challenge, and glances over at him. His bout of silence tells nothing, like it often does, before he lets out a breath and shrugs his shoulders. "Just don't antagonize Ken," he murmurs, before he starts to slide down the small grassy hill that's before them so that he can keep moving forward towards the road.   
  
For a second, all Gokudera can do is stand there on the hill, blinking as he watches Chikusa's tall frame stagger against the ground once he stops his slide, the way he straightens up, that awkward glances back at him from underneath eyelashes that didn't _seem_ that long back when they were both in the caves. Then he's snapping out of it, hopping and sliding down the hill after him with his hands in his pockets.   
  
He doesn't really get what's changed between them... but he can think of that later. For now, all he thinks about is what kind of music he could drag Kakimoto Chikusa into.

**Author's Note:**

> Lightning Day, a *very very liberal* use of the word "curse" as a prompt and this as a ship at all. I tried to make it romantic, lmao, but I think I failed a little.... so you can view this as platonic or romantic if you'd like. 
> 
> I just find it really neat how Chikusa and Gokudera are interesting compare and contrasts to each other, and wish more would have been looked into for that.


End file.
